iSundeep

Thanks for everything, now please LEAVE!

2011-04-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, thanks for everything you did, but seriously I want you to leave me alone. You helped me when I needed you, thanks for all that but I can't remain thankful to you throughout my life.

Call me selfish but I believe I have paid all my dues. Now it seems that you only irritate me and have fun to see me hurt. I don't know why you do that. Yes I did hurt you before but I thought you forgave me for that as I did!

So you better stay out of my way.

An emotional outburst maybe. Now I think I will need to plan this out. Sometimes it is really OK to hurt people you don't like. Some friendships do get sore. So be it.

I really tried my best to adjust but now it seems all is over.

Its been a while

2011-01-30T03:51:00.000-08:00

The last time I posted anything to this blog was in December. So now this is my first post for the New Year.

Looking back at resolutions made last year. I had a 75% success ratio. As a result I can make new resolutions this year.

Last year was a roller coaster ride. Got a decent new job after roaming the land due to global recession. Got a broken heart which still needs Fevistick at night. Got new friends and left some of the old.

Got into a really big fight for a stupid reason, almost lost a good friend due to stupidity.

Very New Year you become wiser than the next.

It Rained That Night

2010-10-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

It Rained That Night

04 Feb’2010 Morning

Mysore, Infosys Campus

“Hey Partha, she is at the gate, where are you?” Ashwini, my best friend in Mysore was telling me in phone.

“Ya, ya. I am coming in a minute, this road is so elevated.” I was exerting so much pressure on the pedals of the cycle to get to the bus bay at the earliest. When I reached there I saw Ashwini standing there with a constant vision on the group of people waiting there to leave, on the last day of their training, to their respective DCs.

When I reached near him, he told, “Thank God, you finally reached. Hey, this is the final chance dude, go talk to her.” “Her” here represents to Ananya, the only girl I have ever loved. She was from Delhi, but we both were in the same batch, same section and also in the same DotNet stream in Mysore. We had talked some two times, first time when she had to ask for a pen, another time again when she had to ask for the room no for ILI class. Altogether, I was in love with her, but never ever had the guts to approach to her (mainly because I had the notion that she is too smart and I am not up to her standard). Whatever, we both got posted to Chennai, but she got Sholes and I got MCity. I didn’t know at that time that Sholes and MCity is not that much distant, but what I heard that time was that the two places are very far as if two different cities. So, for me, it was the last chance to talk to her. The night before that day, it was planned that I would talk to her and then I would ask her to come with us (means me and my friends who all got posted in Chennai).

So, I, with all my energy together, went towards her to implement my plan. But just when I was about to reach near her, all my energy got evaporated. I took a sharp U-turn and returned to my room to pack for Chennai. I accepted the defeat.

07 Feb’ 2010 Night (The Night when it Rained)

Chennai

I was trying to look at my watch. But it was not at all visible, only dark everywhere. Just then I heard a voice from behind. “Sir, sir what are you doing at this time here?” asked the voice from behind. When the person came near me with the torch in his hand, I came to know that he was the MCity guard in the Paranur Railway station. I asked him, “How can I go to Infosys campus from here?” He answered, “Sir, its 11 o’clock night, no transportation at this time. If you want to go, then you have to walk. The road is straight, only you have to walk some 2 kilometers. But why are you so late? It is raining so heavily tonight and also there is a power failure here in MCity due to the rain.” I wanted to tell him about my misery that I was new to the city and I had to arrange an accommodation within 7 days, so I had to go to city in search of a rent house after the working hours, but then dropped the idea and said “Just had some work.”

“Excuse me, excuse me”, came another voice from behind and this time of a girl. And the strange thing about this voice was it was familiar, a voice that my heart recognized faster than my mind. And then she appeared from the dark with a confused but still beautiful face. “Excuse me, how to go to Infosys campus?”She asked. With so much surprise in my mind I shouted “Ananya, you are here?” The guard told, “Ok, so you people know each other. Madam, he is also going to Infosys campus, you can go with him. Take the torch and do return it to me tomorrow.” She saw me, gave a short smile, opened her umbrella and nodded. We came to the main road outside the station. It was not that dark outside or my eyes had started seeing in the dark I don’t know, but I could see the road very clearly.

We both were silent. I thought I should start the conversation. So I asked, “it is so late. What are you doing here so late? Also you got posted to Sholes naa?” Suddenly she replied with a question “How do you know I got posted to Sholes?” I said, “Just like that.” She smiled at me and then said, ”hmm. I got transferred to MCity. ” I don’t know may be because of her smile or because knowing that she was transferred to MCity, I felt very much confident to talk to her. Then she again said, “So, you are a 5 pointer, huh!” I just wanted to ask the same question that how she came to know it, but then thought it’s not a big deal to know some five, six 5 pointers in a batch of 450. Then suddenly with so much confidence I thought I should go for some Bollywood dialogue. I asked, “Aren’t you scared now? It’s so late in night. ” She laughed and laughed the way I always like her and said “Why, are you a ghost or something?” I also wanted to laugh with her, but I was so mesmerized with her laughing face, only and only thing I wanted to do is to see her laughing.

We had walked half the distance, but I was not able to feel the distance, not even my drenched arm. She saw me and asked, “What happened?” I didn’t reply. Then she told, “It’s such a long distance. Hey, would you like to play a game? Actually it’s a game we play when we get bored. So it’s like this. You have to act on a situation. And the situation, lemme think, issss, ya, suppose this is the last day of my life in earth. What would you do?” I saw in her eyes, came out of the umbrella, put the torch on the road and sat on my knees, “Ananya, I love you from the first day I saw you. Your voice, your smile, everything related to you makes me mad. Every day in Mysore, I used to see you and every day, you look more and more beautiful. I used to stand in front of ECC every day before the class time, just to see you once. You had asked me for pen and that time you called me Ashish instead of my name. But still you talked to me and that made me so happy. I love you Ananya, I love you a lot. ” I looked at her face to judge the status of her mind, but can’t. She asked ”Was it a part of the game or you are telling the truth?” I thought I would go for the game option, but my mouth betrayed. I said no it’s the truth and with that a thousand volt flew through my body making my heart to rush faster than a supersonic jet. Then she smiled the smile I always long for. She closed the umbrella, put it on road and sat on the knees just in front of me. I had seen movie heroines who look very beautiful in rain, but never seen someone so beautiful. Her hair was drenched; water dropping from her face looked more beautiful than I have ever imagined in life. She held my hands, came very close to me, my heart ceased to pump blood, my mind was blank, and then she kissed me. For some seconds, the world surrounding me vanished; I don’t know the world stopped revolving may be. She told or whispered,” Promise me one thing that you won’t wait for something until it’s too late.” “Too late? How is it too late?” I was surprised. She ordered, “Just promise me.” I smiled at her and said “I promise.” We then walked the rest part slowly with her hand in mine; I left her at the gate of ECC and went to my room.

08 Feb’ 2010 Morning

Infosys Chennai ECC

“Partha, wake up, wake up.” Ashwini was shouting at me. “What happened? Why are you shouting?” I asked. “You heard the news?” He said that a bus accident happened near some OMR road. I asked “You are waking me because of that Ashwini?” He didn’t say anything then said with a pause “Some people from Infosys Sholes were there and I think Ananya was also in the same bus.” I laughed at him and went to sleep saying “Good joke, Ashwini.” I went to office on time, got a vacant PC in B5. When I opened my email the first mail I got was an obituary mail which stated about an accident happening in OMR road and 3 infosions were in the obituary mail, one of them being Ananya. I couldn’t understand how to react. I slapped myself twice to know it’s a dream or true. Oh, it’s true. Only some lines of previous day went through my mind again and again.

“Why, are you a ghost or something?”

“suppose this is the last day of my life in earth”

“Promise me one thing that you won’t wait for something until it’s too late”

Don’t wait for the ship to come to you, swim to it. Don’t wait until it’s too late...

And what is it again?

2010-10-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

A time to reflect what is going on in my life.

The few months I have found new friends and have recovered from a personal loss. Found out alcohol was not meant for me and little things that really matter.

Also found new focus on my health and personal hygiene. Thankfully there are people around me who are ready to beat me up and point out the small mistakes.

The thing is why the hell I am so ambitious? Why I am not content with my life. I have a friend who is always content and happy.

I don't know why but I always end up fighting with her and making her angry. I don't want to act like this. Am I jealous or do I envy her? I have thought about it and will restrain myself from arguing with her.
It is so hilarious whenever she is happy I am sad and vice versa.

Strangely people from my past have slowly emerged from the shadows. Found someone to like.

Just Random

2010-09-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

M:How do I make out that she loves me?
Y:Does she like you?

M:Yes she does..
Y: How do you know that?

M: Well a girl who likes you will show some signs.
Y: And these signs, can't you identify love signs?

M: Look I have already taken a heartache, so I am just scared to commit.
Y: But you can't be scared your whole life just because of one incident.

M: Hmm, but what if she just likes me and if I said anything to her, I might lose a friend.
Y: Think now what is important. Do you really love her? It can also be an infatuation you see. First get to know her and then fall in love. You have just met, give it some time.

M: What if she is seeing somebody ease?
Y: You have to find that out first.

M: Why this is so complicated?
Y: The stone age was better, when you just had to fight for the girl you want and hit her on the head.

M: Dude try that on the modern gal and you will be screwed for life.
Y: I agree. Just listen to her. Don't be her best friend, or else she would never fall for you.

An email poem

2010-09-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

My feelings are flying through the blue sky..

Noone's watching them go by..
Clutching the wings of my heart..
As it aches when you say bye and depart..

As my fingertips touch the alphabets..
Imprinting the emotions of regrets..
A reckless talent of quick speech I make..
Hours to recover from pain , I take..

Living in the bubble of imaginary love..
Pleasing my floating heart somehow..
Looking at your eyes which are bright like sun..
Blinding me forever ,in pain I moan...

Wish I could take a photograph of my love..
Pin it up and display it to you now..
Your words are a object of my desire..
Curiosity blazing like unending fire..

Fading away colours of happy hours..
Building up sorrow like majestic towers..
I fall apart evrytime you yell..
Curdling my gut like hell..

Falling in love without provocation..
Caring for you everytime with dedication..
Irking you is never my intention..
But you leave me alone in my depression..

I couldn't say.. But I can write..
Don't leave me in this plight..
Even though my faults are too apparent..
I still need your valuable comments..

Times are getting tougher..
And you are getting farther..
Don't do this so many times..
That without you, I start feeling fine..

~~~$ap~~~

P.s : One who bears your negatives loves you for what you are.. keeping away from such a person would fetch you lonliness..
Above poem is written taking a situation where fights happen on silly matters.. and anger of one aggravates so much that the other is left speechless and in tears..However the angry one leaves the scene for some fresh air and solace.. Now what happens if thse kind of situations happen many times.. and more frequently.. well the thoughts of that person in tears are penned down.. Hope I could write up to the mark..!

Quote from memory...

Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn't there the first time you need him,
chances are you won't be needing him again. .........

A new friend

2010-09-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

When you are going through a really difficult time, God somehow sends his angels to save you. I was getting through a really tough time, and I thought it was over. My mom said you should see a doctor. I was abusive and was in seriously trouble.

My friends said I had gone crazy. I was drinking too much and was going home late. I was like Kurt Cobain blaming the people who really cared for me. I was delusional and suicidal just like Vincent Van Gogh. It was difficult, never thought I could go through this. I even started smoking which I hate like anything.

Then one day, there is this new girl in office. She sits next to me. I felt that she was really mean because I smiled at her and she totally ignored me. You don't do that when you are new in office. Also there were rumors about her among the girls. I tend to find the weak link among girls and get all information.

As time passed, she became the most hated girl in office. She found friends. But I still didn't speak to her. I remember saying Good Morning to all except her. Wanted to see her reaction, but it didn't come. It made me hate her even more. I felt she was acting smart just because she was experienced.

Then one day a common friend introduced her to me. She smiled maybe for the first time in office. Then we began to talk. I then said Good Morning to her and she replied with Yelloz. I never heard it before from someone.

As time went by, we talked and talked more. Found out she was my age and felt she was really nice. She has the most wonderful eyes, hair and the thing she does :P.

I told her everything and she listened to each and every bit patiently. I know I am boring but she never showed it. At times she advised me as an elder sister, someone who I never had, an adult who I can talk to.
I was amazed at her reasoning skills.

She also slapped me so many times (Chataak). But not with malicious intent. I make her angry sometimes, but know she won't stay angry long.

I owe a big thank you to her, she was the one who saved me from going insane. I left all my bad habits, few still remain, but I am working on it.

I must be really important to God, then why would he sent his angel to save me from darkness?
Thank you friend, I couldn't say this to you in person, you might feel I am a cry baby.
But I am thankful to you each and every day my new friend.

Wandering Soul

2010-09-16T04:52:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered what exactly what I want to do in my life…. Sometimes there were no answers and sometimes they were much more than what I could do in a single life. Sometimes I wanted to settle down, not exactly now but yeah after some years and there are times when I want to fly like free bird, no boundaries to restrain me and hold me back.

I would just wander around like a gypsy with no permanent destination but yeah endless temporary ones. Travel around the world, eat exotic food and meet many new people and make many new friends without hurrying up through any of these things.

Life isnt fair, it never has been. You can’t live a life of a free soul. Its more expensive than living a life of a rich. It’s easier to get things than to lose them forever. You can’t turn your back to worldly possessions so easily; it’s harder than u ever imagined. Everyone wants to have a family with all comforts around them, who would want to choose a life of a monk? See I told u, its difficult than being rich. Losing is always difficult.

Coming back to where I started what I wish to do in my life, well honestly I want to be a monk. Free from all relationships which bind you to live a life of a slave in this materialistic world. No, matter how much you work, it’s never enough and will never be. The greediness will always be there to pull me back to this world where I would populate it more, slog to get a dream house, compromise to build a happy family; just to leave them all behind when I die.

Just one question that keeps haunting me: why should I run behind things which I will eventually leave behind? Instead of making my life better, I should be working on soul rather.

-- Contributed by a very close friend. Thanks again :)

When things go wrong

2010-08-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

And she is gone

2010-08-19T01:42:00.000-07:00

And now she is gone,
Never to come back,
Wished she could stay,
But now I can’t change that.

She is now far away,
Seven seas between us,
But still I feel her,
In every thought and unseen words.

I feel no hunger nor thirst,
Yet must live to see her happy,
If only I was and did something,
Things could have been so different.

And since she is gone,
I feel lost and broken,
I just want one thing now,
That she remains happy and content.

How Huma Adlabs tried to fool me today..

2010-07-25T03:01:00.000-07:00

I really love my weekends and was really thrilled to watch SALT, a movie starring Angelina Jolie. But was almost fooled my Huma Adlabs (the same company called IMAX ADLABS a.k.a Big Cinemas).

You read that right, but hopefully I know my rights.

The girl at the counter asked me to shell our RS 150 for a RS 70 movie as it was morning show.

I was really furious. The girl at the counter retorted that it was compulsory. You know the strange thing was at least 6 people took the tickets for Rs 150. What fools, we Indians are such used to exploitation. I have already complained to Huma Adlabs online using this form.

I got an automated response here

Dear sund...@sundeepmachado.com,

Warm Greetings from BIG Cinemas.

We thank you for choosing us, as your favorite Cinema; we are always Happy to hear from you and to assist you with your queries and concerns.

Your Feedback/Query has been received, and it is our endeavor to personally revert back to you at the earliest.

In case, you need further help or assistance please do write to us at support@bigcinemas.com.

Thank you once again for Contacting Big Cinemas, and look forward to your continued patronage.

Sincerely,

BIG Cinemas Support Team.

Note: Please do not reply to this mail, as this is an auto generated message from our system.

If I don't hear from them, they will hear from me.

Dream Sequence

2010-07-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

It is really frustrating when you had a terrific dream last night and you just can't remember it today. I had so many of these dreams, but what I remember is the nightmares to be honest.

My nightmares are the typical ones that people have: failing in exams, falling from a cliff and missing the train when you want to reach someplace urgently. However I don't seem to remember any good dreams.

So, I was trying hard to make sense of it all(not that I had nothing better to do, but was just curious). I researched on the internet, found cool links to Sigmund Freud books and so on. I decided that this time, I would remember my dream no matter what.

Then I had this dream, where I learnt how Superman flies. I was pondering over this my entire childhood and the answer gets revealed to me in a dream. What Superman does is that he breathes very hard, like I did in my dream. The dream sequence lasted only twenty seconds. Then came the reality and it hit me hard.

Nonetheless it got me pondering. Why the hell we have dreams? Don't tell me that the crap that when we sleep our brains are still active and all.

Then I started day dreaming. I don't know what happened I just thought of something and thought of it for 10 minutes, non-stop.

Do we live in reality or we still are in a dream. Our minds are too complex. Thank God, we use it not to its full capacity.

Gardening

2010-07-03T01:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you need to spend time with nature. So, here goes my effort. It is a money plant, what they call in India. The myth is that you have to steal a twig from somebody else if you have to grow your own money plant.

Interestingly, the plant has grown tremendously during the rains. The roots look like hands.

I also have a red Rose plant. I lost a lot of roses to teenagers who would steal them during summer. Now, I am bit possessive about them so I mostly end up chasing those miscreants.

The season of roses is over.

Just got these snaps from a friend. I hope you like it.

My Last post on this domain

2010-07-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

This is my last post on this domain, I am moving to my new domain. Guys you still can comment and read my blog as usual.

The reason is that it was frustrating to see some of my blog articles were being used somewhere else. As a result, I decided to give it a name, a genuine name. I wrote so much, some posts were good and others awful.

No matter what they are, they are mine and owned by me. The comments and the articles will remain intact.

What will change?
1.My domain name will change (if you type isundeep,blogspot.com you will be automatically directed to new domain)
2. I will blog using by genuine name. Some posts will be deleted due to privacy concerns.

Thank you, Friends.....

I am 23

2010-05-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

"Oh my God I will be late to work!" The first thought that came to my mind when I woke up today at 7:30 am. My bus to work leaves at 8:30 am sharp.

As I was brushing my teeth, I was also bathing. Multitasking in a weird way. Then came the breakfast. What I had I don't remember.

Now I got into my formal clothes and made a dash to the share auto-rickshaw stand.
Just before reaching the station, I see the train which I supposed to take reaching the station. I run like a mad man.

As I manage to enter the train. Thankfully in the morning there is no rush. I am out of breadth. Then it hits me, it hits me hard!!

I am getting unhealthier every day. I used to run so fast. Now I run like a snail. So I am getting older. I am 23. No I am not that old, but I am slowly becoming weak. Thank God today I ran. It showed me my weakness.

Landmark

2010-04-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

Its official, I have been blogging for four years now.
Thank you, its possible because all of my friends in the Blogosphere, both young and old.

Keep commenting and keep Blogging!!

The Gift

2010-04-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

One of my good friends is going to USA to study. What gift should I give her?

I am confused need help ASAP. Please suggest gifts..
Thank you in advance.

<p>Loading...</p>

Peddling back to Life

2010-03-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

I got my first bicycle when I was 1 year old. I don't remember what I did with it.But looking back at pictures, I guess I was happy.

I then got my second bicycle in the ninth standard. I was so happy riding it. I had so many adventures and accidents. Just sitting on the bicycle made me happy.

After I went to college I ignored it completely.
It got rusted and I was to blame.

We go after things and once we get them we ignore them. We go after new ones!! Forget the old.

I am going to repair my bicycle again!!

Kartik calling Kartik

2010-03-02T00:40:00.000-08:00

I am not a big fan of Hindi movies. I really don't like Farhan Akhtar or Deepika Padukone. But what do you do on a boring Sunday?

So I went for the movie Kartik calling Kartik, with friends. The same friends with whom i went for movies like Honeymoon Travels (Mind F***), DeV D (I still don't why) and other senti movies which I am really ashamed to talk about.

Plot

Kartik is a big loser. His job sucks and he loves the perfect girl Deepika who doesn't seem to notice he exists. He is about to kill himself when he receives a call from himself.

The subsequent calls from the so called himself changes his life for good. He gets the money and the girl. However everything changes when he disobeys the other 'Kartik'.

Acting

The acting was OK, not an Oscar performance. Deepika got to show off cool new beautiful dresses and she looks good. Maybe half the crowd came for her or Farhan and not for the movie.

Conclusion

Go to see the movie, if you want to see something different. Don't go alone!
The best option is to see it on T.V, in a few months time.

The top 7 songs I love to hear again and again

2010-02-23T06:06:00.000-08:00

I really love these songs. It is not a great compilation but I do hope you like it.

1. Viva La Vida -- Coldplay

I really like this song. It makes me feel really good. I always wondered what it would be like if I was a king. This song is a classic.

I am not a Coldplay fan. But this song is just awesome.

2. Run this Town -- JayZ featuring Kanye West and Rihanna

This song is JayZ answers to silence the wannabe rappers. I like the lyrics and the music.

3. Miss Independent -- Neyo

A gem of a song, it makes me tap my feet and dance. I do want a girl who is independent and can think for herself.

4. Beat It -- Michael Jackson

A superb song from Michael Jackson. I really like to remember him as an artist who created reinvented the music industry. Thanks MJ.

5. Loose Yourself -- Eminem

Whenever things look pretty difficult, this song rescues me. There is nothing called cakewalk in life. It is difficult, but we can learn to enjoy it.

6. Into the Wild OST -- Eddie Vedder

We sometimes find ourselves in unrealistic problems and limitations. On questioning further, we will find they are hardly that difficult. We can do whatever we want, we just need that extra push.

7. White Flag -- Dido

Maybe I still love her or maybe I don't. But life moves on. This song reminds me of all the happy memories I had with her.

A lonely Valentine Day

2010-02-12T03:40:00.000-08:00

This Valentine's day is special.
No costly gifts will be given to someone else.
No romantic movies.
No greeting cards.
No seating in a corner of a beautiful lake.
No strolling like mad.
No phone calls saying I love You.
No one to say I love You.
No going to malls with someone you love.
No going to a beach and having a candle light dinner.
No no more attachment to someone.
No more Love .......................

If there are more like me, I would like to tell them HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY from a broken heart.

God matter

2010-02-08T22:06:00.000-08:00

I have never met God in my life. But does he / she really exist?

Who is God?
1. An very holy old man in heaven
2. An Almighty Being
3. A Supernatural Force

Whoever he / she is, its powerful.

The existence of God was forced upon me. I was forced to go to church at a very young age. I always asked my parents where is God? I always got an answer, just believe.

So I believed
I went to the church regularly, which I do even today.
I go to temples and churches, an interest I developed at a very young age. All these places, were calm and had the holistic silence.

As I grew older, I studied the Bible, the Bhagavad-Gita and the Qur'an. I was shocked the amount of similarities these books had. They all preached love to fellow human beings. I am not a scholar, but I know you really can't disagree with this one.

Let me think over this now. Does God really love us? If so why did he / she gives me so many problems. Do you give problems to those whom you love? We all do, don't we?

What God has given to each one of us is 'Free Will'.
The power to do want we want to do!
So I am responsible for what I do, not God.

We human beings can think, create and empathize. Think of the power God has given us. If God has given us problems, we are also given enormous potential to face them.

I am not a holy man. But I know this the proof of the existence of God doesn't matter.
God lies inside each one of us, in our minds. Its just that we need to find that God matter in us to be happy forever.

No time to enjoy life

2010-02-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

Just thought of writing a small poem. I hope you like it.

What happened to Me?

What has happened to me?
I never wanted an iPod or an LCD T.V..

I was just happy playing in the park with my friends,
Playing and laughing, and had no regrets.

Games lasted the whole day,
Cartoons were watched by me, for the whole of May.

Days were friends meant a lot to me,
Now money means a lot, still I am not happy.

I wanted to be an adult, and be somebody,
Now I working for somebody else and is known by nobody.

Bring back those days of nursery,
Where I used to get a chocolate or a sweet toffee.

I must leave this current state of unhappiness,
I will never live life without my friends.

I don't want to be a part of this rat race,
I want to take another route and run at my own pace.

--Sundeep a.k.a. sjmach

I am not good at it like Ash,Wink or Sakhii••, but I felt it was worth a shot.

The five stages of Love..

2010-01-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

You cannot really judge a person, who is in love if you never loved someone before.

The five stages of love are as follows:

Stage 1 : Liking

The stage one begins when you meet that person for the first time.You spend a lot of time together and you always discover something new about that him / her each day.

Then you begin to like him / her.

Stage 2 : Attachment

You then feel a sense of attachment to that person. You feel that person has feelings for you.
When you are with that person, you feel happy.
You just can't wait to meet that person again. Everything he /she does is just awesome.
You mostly neglect friends or talk a lot about that person with your friends.

Stage 3 : Making your feelings known

In this phase, boys and girls behave differently. Girls want boys to propose first. Boys are not sure whether that girl likes him or not.
Most of the boys find it rude when the girl tells him that she likes him. I blame the male ego and the society.
Most boys will say a straight 'NO' to that girl. Not me.

But it takes great courage from boys to tell a girl that you love her. This separates boys from men. There might be many boys going after the same girl, but the girl generally says 'YES' to the one who tries the most. Girls like playing 'Hard to Get'.

Stage 4 : In a relationship

This stage is different for different people. For some, it is the best phase as it feels really,
good to be loved and to know that you have found someone special.

Stage 5 Breakup

Nobody gets the perfect person at the first attempt. There are issues like jealousy, mistrust and pain that creeps in. Suddenly that person who used to make you happy now causes you pain. Some relationships don't work because of caste, creed or money. You just don't see a future in that relationship.
So you decide to break that relationship.

Some people don't take it well. Some go mad (seriously) and others get hurt (mostly).

But you need to move because you have to. Maybe you will be lucky the next time.

What I read in the papers today

2010-01-13T06:56:00.001-08:00

I will admit that I am a newspaper addict. I just cannot live without reading the newspaper. I read The Sunday Times (The Times of India which comes on Sunday) today.

Stupidity

Shashi Tharoor

Shashi Tharoor found himself again in a new controversy. I don’t know how he does it. He really finds new innovative ways to get in trouble, either by his tweets on Twitter or commenting on Nehru’s foreign policy. Doesn’t he know that Indian politicians don’t like being corrected?

This made a big headline.

State Advertisements

Today it was Bihar’s turn to shine. Why do states all over the country put advertisements on a national daily, when they are better off diverting those funds in rural employment or education?

I have seen all states like Maharashtra, Gujarat and so on advertise they economic might and infrastructure which is all crap.

Chu Bhagat

I read a Chu Bhagat column. I am bigger chu because I read it. To criticize someone, you need to study that person thoroughly. It is really easy to blame someone else by reading something in the newspaper

Who are you to blame someone else if he is just being sefish?
That Khan is no saint. That Chopra is just making more money.

I hate Chu Bhagat because that Five something book sucked.

You know why it was a hit, because it was an ideal fantasy for students. Getting to close to director’s daughter?
In reality you won’t even go within a 10 m radius.

That is why I hate him. That book sucked, that movie defined logic. I ended up Rs 200 poorer.

Who is a Chu?
Chu Bhagat or the person who read the book, watched the movie?
Chu Bhagat just made more money.

Newsflash there is another movie coming up based on Chu Bhagat’s another book. I am watching it at home.

Murder

Dead cop on road

A man (a cop) is dying on the road, but no one bothers to help him. Imagine a situation where you are yourself dying on the road and the people you trust the most, your friends or family just ignore you. You know what really kills, not the wounded body but the pain you get inside your heart when people you love let you down. For the cop, the ministers and his fellow cop friends let him down. Don’t we have a heart?

The cop just died bleeding. That is so painful. When we get a small cut by a blade, we cry like babies (I do). The next time you see someone else dying or who really wants help; just picture yourself in his / her position. The courage to help will come automatically.

Ruchika case

Ruchika is dead. We are so good in killing someone else. You remember that Aarushi case don’t you?

To kill someone we just make that person’s life so hard, that he /she finds it really difficult to live. In Ruchika’s case we blamed her for what happened. In Aarushi’s case we blamed her character after her death and made her personal life public.

Hope

Look I have to take something positive from the newspaper, because it affects my entire day. Read something beautiful and see how your day begins on a happy note.

I always read that Mind over Matter column the last because it makes you forget everything you read before (sometimes). The columns about a Chinese guy and Ruchika’s friend are worth a read.

I can write so much more, but I don’t wish to bore you. Always read the paper. Thank you for taking time to read. Take care and have a nice day.

What's on T.V.?

2010-01-06T02:08:00.000-08:00

T.V. the one thing I loved so much has turned into a monster.

What happened to my 21' baby?

I remember watching so many shows. I used to watch Baywatch, Charlie's Angels and Batman on Star Plus. Yes you read it right, the now retarded Hindi channel was once a heaven for superb serials like Small Wonder and so on.

I even liked those crazy Chinese serials that used to come on a now non - existent channel Home T.V. Remember serials Surabhi or Superhit Muqabla? Doesn't it ring a bell. These were the only two serials back then and so the quality was so good.

But now see what happened. Rakhi Ka Swayumwar, to add to to that Mahajan Ka Swayumwar, no I even heard people were thinking of Mari Huyee Aatma Ka Swayumwar. I guess I got in from the Sabse Tej News channel Aaj Tak. They even have News Flashes, much before the event actually happens.

No, we have choices. We like watching Roadies were people go to get insulted before the entire nation. You should come to me, I would save you some public humiliation. Raghu talks shit, some contestants are shit.

Wait Dance India Dance, isn't it wonderful? You won't say it, if you had seen an episode of "So you think you can Dance".
Has anybody watched India's Got Talent? Shekhar cries so many times, even Kiran Kher doesn't cry. Sonali Bendre, a judge come on. She is better of posing for some photoshot and stir up a controversy.

People in India still watch Friends, again over and over again. Come on people when will we learn? We like to use things thrown from America so much. The last episode aired on May 6, 2004. So it has been 5 years, move on.

Have you seen Big Bang theory? Class? Prison Break? or classics like Boy meets World.
No?

~~Then I can tell you only one thing Grow Up.~~

It is your life, we see what we are, but it is not necessary who we ought to be.

Thank God, man created VH1 and YouTube. I have something to hang on to!

The fourth Idiot

2010-01-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

I saw The Three Idiots movie recently.
I know it is a bit late, but I follow the rule of 10. I only go to see those movies which
10 people (totally unconnected people) tell me its worth watching. So I went to see it.

Critical Evaluation

The movie was great, if you leave your brain, at home as logically it does not make any sense.
Delivery of a baby with the vacuum cleaner? Whom are you fooling?

The movie is just great to watch with your friends. You shouldn't miss Chatur's speech.
I felt sorry for Chatur. When you are insulted in front of such a huge audience, you do feel hurt and angry. But this happens only in movies. Amir Khan character is just too unrealistic and the wrinkles on his face reveal his age more than once.

The Lesson

I like those movies which help me to think. I know most of us forget about the movie, once we get out of the multiplex. But I don't forget movies that easily. There are many lessons to learn. You can be successful if you do something you like.
This can only happen if Your Work becomes Play!.

The year 2009 review

2009-12-31T08:50:00.000-08:00

The year 2009 is in the past tense. This year had a lot of positives and bad things.

M.J.
The world lost Michael Jackson or should I say Mikael Jackson. We all find faults in someone else, in M.J. I did the same. I criticized him so much, that I forgot that he was actually my greatest inspiration. I am sorry, I know it does not matter anymore. I respect you.

Tiger Woods caught in the act
I hated Tiger Woods and those stupid Accenture advertisements. I guess Tiger Woods is a real Tiger, how else can one explain his desire for so many women. The worst part is HE GOT CAUGHT.

Tiger Woods lost his reputation and he won't get it back.

Blogging in India

I have been blogging since 2006 and I have never seen so much enthusiasm in this field. People are blogging about their lives. A word of caution is be careful as everything you write is recorded somwhere.

Twitter and Facebook

Although Twitter is still not used widely in India, India is an important market. Facebook just made Orkut look small, really small. I sorry too say Google folks, but you know it was coming. Orkut was just copying Facebook. Just look at the mess called the New Orkut.

Web as a social medium

The number of visits to Porn sites have reduced tremendously, as people are very interested in what their friends are posting in their status updates. People do everything on the web nowadays. It seems scary as even children who should go out and play in the playground, are actually playing Farmville, Mafia wars or Yoville.

Recession where?

In USA there was recession, elsewhere it was big excuse to fire employees. It changed the world economy as India and China became powerful.

Personal level

I found something I was looking for. It is just overwhelming.

Am I really educated?

2009-12-10T22:31:00.000-08:00

     I completed my B.E.degree in Computers, this year. Some folks feel so proud about me. But I feel awful. This degree is merely a piece of paper. A paper which I cannot even sell it to the local radiwala.

     So I decided to go backwards in time, which is a waste as you cannot change the past. But I wanted the reasons. The reasons were obvious. My education system was just wasn't good enough. I was trained to by heart things like a parrot. Maybe we all did the same. The history was too localized only on Maharashtra (compare this to America where they are taught about teachings of Mahatma Gandhi) at a very young age. But I am wrong in blaming the system, as it is easy to blame someone else for your mistakes.

     No matter what my education system was I just didn't question it. I studied gravity, and took it for granted that no matter how many apples or bananas fell from the tree, it wouldn't affect me. I had an open mind, but no application. Knowledge becomes wisdom only when you use it.

    Then something changed, I went to St. Xavier's Mumbai. The faculty was good (not all of them). I had a brilliant English teacher. She changed my entire outlook towards life. But then came engineering, back to the parrot days.

   I still know the three laws of motion, but do they have any practical importance? A big NO pops out in my mind.

     People who have been to IITs and IIMs say to those who haven't been to these premier institutions, you haven't been properly trained. What they teach at an IIT or an IIM is simple, think logically and do the basic things right. I really don't care about IITs and IIMs because most people who studied there, as JAYZ puts it, in his song Empire State of Mind, "8 million stories, half of them won't make it".

     I am no Copernicus to give the world Heliocentrism, but I finally realized without the slightest doubt in my mind that as Robert M. Hutchin puts it,

“The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.”

The candyman...

2009-12-06T04:12:00.000-08:00

Alright everybody gather around
The Candy Man is here
Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two
The Candy Man
Oh, the Candy Man can
The Candy Man can
'Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good.

Who can take a rainbow
Wrap it in a sigh
Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie
The Candy Man
The Candy Man can
The Candy Man can
'Cause he mixes it with love.

And makes the world taste goodOh, who can take tomorrow
Dip it in a dream
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream
The Candy Man
Oh, the Candy Man can
The Candy Man can
'Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good.

Got a street play to do...

2009-11-22T22:25:00.000-08:00

I am really tensed, got to do a street play. The event is in February but still I need to perfect it.

Get over It !!

2009-10-19T08:29:00.001-07:00

It seems a majority of the people around me are hurting. They all been unsuccessful in love.
When you breakup, the first thing you shouldn't do is think about it. I learnt it from my very close friend. You should do something else that really engages your mind. Maybe shopping for girls or playing an outdoor game like football for boys can be a good starting point. Be aware what your thinking.
Secondly learn to forgive. I believe it starts by just forgiving the one person that matters the most: YOU. We all make mistakes that's human. Just think about it, if everybody got their perfect match in first try, all nice girls might go to the stupid boys who are broke, poor and indecent.

Love and recognition is all we crave for. I would surely be a pure hypocrite if I say that a breakup never hurt me, because it does. It takes practice. Learn from every breakup. That's my Funda. It will hurt a day or two, but if you don't recover from it say even after a month, its time to get help. Help maybe from your close friends or family members (please keep out parents, they don't need to know).
BEST FIND SOMEONE ELSE AND QUICK....

Love someone who loves You for the person You are. Who forgives your mistakes, takes care of you and is a good human being......and the one who broke your heart, tell him to ...................(Fill as appropriate).

A promise!!

2009-09-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

I promise to change:
To wake up Early..
To Exercise daily..
To take the stairs, not the lift..
To Run aimlessly...
To Call old friends...
To say sorry to those I did wrong..
To look after my plants better and see them grow..
To say Thank you to my Teachers...
To respect and care More..
To Play with my friends....
To Learn to say Please...
To Learn to say to the other, "Yes you are right. I am wrong!"
To Respect my Friends and to learn that they really matter above many things....
To Turn to those behind me in queue and say, If you are in a hurry please go ahead...
To be Humble and to learn to give back to society....

God Help me or I will have to do it all myself, one thing at a time..

Life is becoming monotonous!!

2009-08-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

My life has suddenly turned into routine which I definitely don't like . So I need to change it. I am writing it here so that I can take a firm resolve and change it. It really helps . If you really want to change something just write it down somehere so that you might be able to see it on a daily basis.

She!!

2009-07-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

In my childhood I really hated the woman called "EVE". Eve tempted ADAM to sin, so she was to be blamed, for the work given to as punishment here on Earth. How would I have enjoyed PARADISE. But that was way back in the first standard!! I really don't hate EVE now.

I went to a convent school "ST Joseph's High School (VIKHROLI)". Being part of a COED school, I was dealing with members of the opposite sex quite frequently, much to my liking . To me girls were too dumb and I spent my entire primary education teasing or pulling their hair.

I still don't understand why I did it, maybe I knew that I could easily get away with it .But one day, I heard from my friend, that all the girls were planning to punish me in school by deciding to get together in Recess and bash me up for good. Imagine a group of 30 girls coming at you at once, what can one do????. So I just sat the entire day in class not venturing out during recess, avoiding my ultimate humiliation. I continued this routine for one week flat, till I was safe .

Then came the secondary part of my school education. I was shocked to see big tall boys and girls, the first day .
To them I thought, I was just a dwarf. This feeling was unknown to me.
I decided to survive I needed a group, so I started looking for friends. To my utter surprise the same girls who I used to tease and humiliate came forward to help me.

They were my first friends in secondary.
My attitude towards them changed entirely. I did have male friends, but more female friends.
Then came college, ST.Xavier's Mumbai to be exact. My two years there were the best part of my life.I spend the entire day roaming Mumbai city, watching movies and of course my favorite activity to attend lectures drunk( I did it only one time). In Xavier's the class had 70% girls. For no reason, I loved it.

Then I had a crush for this girl, proposed to her, she accepted it, we both enjoyed each others company, she became possessive, I left her(actually it was the other way round, but to feel better I just say the opposite). This happened quite a few times in the span of these two years.

In engineering there were hardly any girls. Those present were just too mean, too idiotic and had no taste for fashion at all.

Finally I did made some friends who happened to be girls in the second year.
These were the chosen few with whom I could talk freely .I still remember those I met in Xavier's, they were just so HOT!

I still wont understand the Fairer Sex. They are sometimes too kind and at times they can be really mean.
In order to know the TRUTH about something I go to my GUY friends and to get EMOTIONAL Help ,I go to my girl friends........

Being Happy

2009-07-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

To Be Happy is the dream of everyone.........

Some wanna riches to b happy, sum a soul mate

Funny I just need my FRIENDS!!!

So all u out thr THANK YOU...................

Dead and Gone

2009-06-01T00:13:00.000-07:00

My exams are finally over. I really gave a lot of exams and I am proud of it.

But now my student life is over !! Now I will have to work !

Its a challenge and I am up to to the challenge .COME ON!!!!!!!!!!

Sending OFF!!!

2009-05-02T00:34:00.000-07:00

Its bye bye to ENGINEERING now.Just 1 month more and I will be ready for the big mean world.That's what most of my friends say.

But is the world mean ? I guess maybe .I am ready for it.I always wanted to be a computer engineer right from sixth standard.That dream is going to be a reality now!!

One dream over, many more to go.I made really good friends .I am a bit Mature now!!!

Now there is something called send off.As if its gonna matter !! I know the very good friends I made are never going to leave me ,for the rest of my life.Send off is just for those people basically classmates who never existed for you ,(but still you decided to be nice to them),its a nice way to say bye.

Some take this as the last opportunity to look good.Man I have to wear my suite in summer! Four layers of clothing and for what?

TRANCE-----THE MUSIC I LIKE...

2009-02-03T07:27:00.000-08:00

I really love TRANCE- a form of music that's played in clubs .It really great bcoz I forget everything.It takes me to another world.

People tend to associate trance with booze ,drugs etc. but thats not all true.Its really sad, girls got beat up in MANGALORE in Karnataka (my native place basically)just bcoz they were in a club destroying our culture.Man! what CULTURE r we defending .I don't what to associate myself to a culture where its OK to hit girls .What kind of ppl are these Faggots ? r they really INDIAN.

Me and Myself..

2009-01-16T08:46:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Aditi I will try to write something about myself....

First of all I am really a emotional person, gets hurt easily. But I hardly show it to people, I guess that's my strength. I love helping others and my constant effort goes in doing good. But people doubt my intentions many times, maybe they are not used to someone doing something good for them.

I really hate people who are jealous. I don't know but that is the only thing that makes me angry.

I can't remember my last fight though maybe about 10 years ago I thrashed a guy called Bhushan in my class back in school days and made him sit inside a thrash can. But after that I hardly had a fight with anyone else, all rest, were just petty fights.

I love people. I believe making friends wherever I go. But I trust only a few. I will call myself and extrovert. I do have a great sense of Humor and I am a Dreamer. I can dream anytime in a day for minutes at a stretch.

I am a bit thin but highly energetic, I hardly get tired I don't know the reason for this. I wake up early and go for jogging and then sleep again ! That's silly I know bit it has become a routine.

One thing I can do without is MUSIC. I love trance, hip hop and sometimes soft Indian love songs.

Sometimes I ponder why did I did some many mistakes and how others managed to hurt me. But I have a secret place where I can just forget everything. Its the most beautiful place in the world.

With regards to love, I know nothing about it. Just minor crushes. I do have friends who are girls but I tend to treat them as boys. They get so angry with me.

Plus I am a bit spiritual.....I do believe in HIM........

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-11T23:33:00.000-08:00

I guess ,I should the pirates to give me a chance to watch this movie much before its release date Of Jan 23.It got 4 Golden Globes.!!!

It really depicted Mumbai from the slums , a fact which is true ,about 65% of Mumbai's population lives in the slums.......

A great movie a must watch ,I m gonna go with friends on Jan 23 ,hope all of u will too.

A New Year to remember.......

2009-01-01T08:26:00.000-08:00

I guess for me this New year was special ,firstly I had no Drinks whatsoever ...Secondly this time I spent the Eve with my close pals.The day started with 'GHAJINI" and later we went to The Gateway of India ,but alas it was the entrance was closed.So we had to be content with Chowpatty beach.

There we played games like kids literally.
We had a good time.

However the celebrations were a little low key.

CAFE LEOPOLD and the The TAJ hotel HERITAGE WING were the Mumbai attacks took place.

Birthday tell all?

2008-12-12T05:47:00.000-08:00

Just got this info abt my birthday:-
A Pisces born on March 8 is a fascinating combination of cynic and mystic. They have a deep psychic consciousness, and they may prefer to spend their time pursuing humanitarian aims. Though able to see the best in humankind, they are distrustful in personal relationships.
Pisces Information
for March 8
You should embrace: Security, providence, gentility

You should avoid: Fear, compromise, an unforgiving nature
Friends and Lovers

March 8 individuals may have few close friends, but they are totally devoted to them. They prefer to conduct relationships on an emotionally intense level. When they fall in love, they give their whole heart. They are interested in creating a relationship that will survive the test of time.

Children and Family

People born on this date may never fit in to their family and typically experience ambivalence toward family members. As parents, they are aware of a difference in temperament between themselves and their offspring. Not wanting to impose themselves, they may prefer a more casual approach toward childrearing.

Health

March 8 men and women have a stubborn, extremist streak that often causes them to follow an unusual diet or health regimen. They're particularly devoted to fasting. They are not particularly devoted to exercise and prefer to be involved in useful physical tasks.

Career and Finances

Because of the dichotomy in their nature, March 8 people may reach adulthood undecided about their path and may choose a lengthy academic career. Financial security is important to them, which is generally a reaction to wanting the best for their loved ones.

Dreams and Goals

March 8 men and women may have a hard time admitting that they feel a need to reconcile the two sides of their nature. Once they select a lifestyle, they generally stick with it, allowing that side of their personality to "win out" over the other.

Darn it some of it is true......

Feel safe no More...

2008-11-30T23:08:00.000-08:00

The last couple of days were like hell in Mumbai.All u could here was Death ,terrorists and more violence.Even after all was over on Saturday still the politician fagots were up to there vote bank politics .What happened will continue to happen.I guess future Indian generations will be trained to use guns right from nursery to combat terrorism.

And all that news abt MUMBAI is RESILIENT is just CRAP bcoz we are stupid and scared people .We have no other choice but to forget bcoz we have to work everyday to earn our living.SO GET USED TO TERRORISM.

Vivas again.........

2008-11-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

Oral exams have arrived .........

I am the last person in my batch, so I get all the questions beforehand.
The main question all external teachers ask me is "WHAT DO U KNOW"....
My preplanned answer:-" I know the first few chapters really well, don't knw the rest tht well."
teacher sayz" So tell me something abt the chapters u don't knw......"

me :(in my mind mentally)"WHAT THE F**K?"

me: (physically) : Smiling smiling smiling .....

Teacher:-" U did not study I can screw u r case "....

Me: " i knw"

teacher:- "why did u not study?"

me:(man i am smart):-" Because the don't teach well in my college , teachers here lack experience......." ( it works always , but beware external should not be frind of internaL ,do this u willl be really screwed...)

teacher: "So Tell me abt starting chapters......"

me:( mentally) Ya baby....

I don't worry abt internal they think I am a rally good student...( me a devil)
result: Me get good Marks as always..........hahahahahahaahaahaaaaaaaaaaa..

My only chance.

2008-10-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

Man this is my only chance.I will only live once in short I will have only one go at my life.

That means I will get only one chance to propose to the girl of my dreams.My only chance to have fun with my friends.My only chance to thing which seem stupid.My only chance to dance till midnight in a club.My only chance to be someone.My only chance to be happy.But will I take this chance....?

Yeah ! Sure I will.

There is so much to do.But so little time.....Why the hell there are only 24 hours in a day.Why can there be 50 or even 100 hours?

But I will fight for this chance.Its my only option.............and I guess I will succeed.

What's wrong with .........

2008-10-01T02:47:00.000-07:00

Suddenly , the world which I live in is falling apart.People are dying from bomb blasts ,stampede, floods.......

So what is wrong with the world? I have no idea.Should I ignore all of this and be happy.But ultimately I will be affected too......

It feels scary to board the local trains.Man u should listen the people all talking about blasts and all that.
But nobody bothers to do anything.

Why do politicians don't die? why only the common man suffers?
Why we cannot be free?
Is this what we call Independence?

BE ---The Final Year

2008-09-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

I guess I am in BE. Not a great thing to be in.

Its the final year of my engineering.
So what I learned in my engineering career.
In one word "BULLSHIT".
That's right, its all the same mugging, mugging and wait more mugging. However this time I have made cool new friends .
In addition I have mastered the art of faking.In Vivas even if u don't know anything just smile.Man I smile a Lot during Vivas.........

Rock On-The Movie

2008-09-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

Another Movie which takes the advantage of the rebellious nature of today's youth .However the main thing highlighted in the movie was never to let go off u r dreams.We all wanna be rock stars.Very few can be one.

But u have to believe that one day u will be one.When u win the mental battle in u r head , then its easy to achieve anything u want.U can be whoever u wanna be.

About the movie, its better than most movies.A MUST SEE. But u should see this in a multiplex .Single theaters are a strict no no.The music is really great.Please don't miss this one.

The secret of my Life......

2008-08-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered why you live such a miserable life, while others have a life to die for?

Man I used to think the same. Every day of my life was spent in cursing myself , why I can't be smart? perform well in academics and sports,why beautiful girls kept themselves away from me, why I am such a loser?.WHY I CAN'T BE SOMEBODY?

I asked these questions to God. Days became weeks, weeks became months, months became years. God did not answer my question. Yet I told him I am not going to stop until he tells me the answers.

Then one fine day,God just decides answers all of them. He takes me to a big Mall. There I met a beggar. The beggar asks me, where is the entrance to the mall? Maybe the beggar felt that he might earn a few pennies more.

Then came a man belonging to the so called middle class, the class which I belong.
He asked me the particular shop in the mall where he might get a cool pair of jeans.

After my shopping I decided to head home. There I was waiting for a bus. Then out of nowhere a beautiful car shows up. I still remember the Car(one of the cars which I saw in my dreams).

A nice gentleman steps out of the car, asks me where the mall is and goes his way smiling at me.I tell him where the mall is. He gives his card (Man I did not ask for it) and walks away. He goes back to his car and goes speeding away as he owned the mall!.
That bastard wanna taunt me?I felt....

Then I looked at the card he gave me just to know that bastard by name.

Guess what his name was:

It was Me............................

Then I woke up .............

It was all a dream .From that day I understood one thing.I was special.

I WAS THE BEST..........Its OK to be different.

From that everything changed.I wasn't a loser anymore. I became the captain of the football team of my class. Girls which detested me, became good friends. The results came out last week. I never got above 58% in my engineering career and guess what, what the results said:67%...............

"The real message here is Never hate yourself. Love yourself . Think positive. Don't care a fuck what others think of you. Tell yourself you are the BEST. Improve yourself daily. Practice hard to be Perfect. There is always scope for improvement. Don't give you are contenders a chance.Wake up early. Let the lazy people sleep. Do things you are scared off. Fuck that fear of failing in anything, one thing at a time. And always remember you are the best. Tell that to yourself everyday............"

And one day, I assure you. You WILL BE THE BEST.

-----------This for you ASH my dear friend, just Love yourself.---------------------

Happy friendship Day..............

2008-08-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

Its that time of the year ,when we actually take time to thank those special people who had made a difference in our lives.Without friends we are incomplete...............

Its human to make friends.Right from the street beggar to the rich business men,all have friends.They have a deep impact in our lives.If you observe closely ,we inherit the qualities and morals of the people close to us.~~We call this PEER PRESSURE that's the term when u r friends smoke and u feel compelled to try smoking...and stuff like that~~

God has blessed me with amazing friends.I have inherited all their good qualities and values and some which are bad.Man I don't have any enemies ,I can say that safely.

In school,I made so many friends .However only a few have remained .

In Junior college ( St Xavier's College Mumbai), I had really cool friends ,thanks to Orkut we are still in touch with each other.In DBIT ,that's my Engineering College , I am blessed with Great friends .Man.... its stuff to handle each one of them especially girls.Some of my friends(which happen to be girls) have a bad habit of talking all Bullshit about each other. (character assassination).I really don't like that .

I have made some great blogger friends,people I have never met in my life and there is a good chance I might not be able to meet them in this lifetime .They were absolutely strangers before they started commenting on my blog.Then something strange happened .I felt that I have known them for years.They were and are facing the same problems which were similar to mine.I hope they know that they all are special (ASH ,GUNJ and IRA).They really are strong personalities.It takes courage to declare your worst fears and failures on the Internet.I love you Guys (I mean GIRLS).

PS: I really don't like typing, because I am damn slow.That's why I make spelling mistakes while commenting.

The search is OVER................

2008-07-25T09:15:00.000-07:00

When we grow older ,we loose the ability to see the things the way they really are.We see everything based on our assumptions and stereotypes.Which is not the best thing to do.

For a small child everything is new and fresh.That makes him/her happy.Telling yourself that tomorrow will be better according to me is not a lie,its perfectly normal.

For me each day passed was a memorable dream .The present is always beautiful for me no matter what.The future has its secrets and hidden treasures.

Some people live in the past.They keep worrying about their past,so much that they mess up their present and end up having a dull Future.I was one of them until recently.I had to make a choice .I had to decide whether to live in the past or to make amends in the present, so that I may be more happy in the future.

Some people worry about their Future that they forget that they are living in the Present.Both set of people are equally unhappy.

The third set is those who choose to live in the PRESENT.I use the word "choose", because you always have always have a choice.They re the achievers and usually happy people.

I always felt ,money would make me happy.Then again God had to prove me wrong.
The source of my happiness is everything.I am a child again.I see things the way they are.
I am looking forward to each day. Most importantly "I LIVE IN THE PRESENT".

Its important to remember.:--------------

"The Past is History, The Future is a Mystery , but The PRESENT Is a GIFT"

---Kunfu Panda The Movie(2008)......

Wow ! I got an award.

2008-07-16T08:48:00.000-07:00

I got an award from Ira . Wow , I really consider myself Lucky to receive this award . I am really grateful to Ira .If you reading this ,Ira THANK YOU.

The rules of this award are as follows:
1. Pick five blogs you consider deserving of this award, whether for creativity, design, interesting material, or contributions to the blogging community, no matter what language.
2. Name each nominee and link to his/her blog.
3. Show the award and include the name (and link to his/her blog) of whoever presented you with this award.
4. Link to theArte y Pico Blog so everyone knows the origin of this award.
5. Post these rules. If you already have this award, you only have to accept this additional recognition.

1.Ira:No surprise here .She told me to start this blog.After that I never stopped blogging.She is special.She is a great writer.

2.ASH:Another girl from Delhi ,Ash is really sweet.I really like to read her blog.

3.GUNJ:The articles(posts) written by Gunj are really great.I am completely hooked to her blog,cannot stop reading it.

4.India Uncut: A good blog discussing about problems facing India.

5.The Flash Blog:This blog is a best place to begin to Learn Adobe Flash.

The secret of My Happiness

2008-07-08T21:52:00.000-07:00

I still remember some events ,when I was a small child.Little things like looking at a plastic ball or a small pebble in a garden made me happy.As I grew up, I started ignoring those small things in my life.I stared ignoring them so much that I forgot that they even existed.
That made me sad.The challenges of behaving like an adult made me sad.I was not at all happy.I went through a really depressing period.I felt there was no one in this world that wanted me,not even my family.
Then all of sudden when I was in the all time high in my sadness ,something wonderful happened.That incident changed my life.
" I was just walking in the garden ,when I saw a ragpicker.You know those poor people who search the dustbins for plastics and food,which we tend to ignore most of the time.He seemed happy, I don't know why.Certainly I was much better off and well educated still I was not content in my life .Then
suddenly I realized the truth :
I was not happy because I did not think I was happy
Sounds confusing doesn't it?

But its true........

Just give it a try and think one of the most happiest moment in your life.Now close your eyes for 2 minutes,feel that moment.See you are happy.

Thus each one of us ,has the keys for his/her happiness .

Happy thoughts lead to a happy person .One happy thought can bring another happy thought.So you can now make a chain of happy thoughts.So be happy and keep smiling.I am so happy that someone ,somewhere is reading my blog just now.THANK YOU DEAR READERand always keep smiling.

Change That is slowly Killing Me

2008-06-18T06:32:00.000-07:00

I am 21 years old and I know ,I can't grow physically anymore.But mentally I now I am strong, at each step I am learning .~~Maybe that's because I have started thinking from my FRONTAL LOBE instead of my AMYGDALA part of my brain.~~
Recent days have brought a sudden change in me.I really don't know why I am changing.....Since childhood I had a strong person residing in my soul.But suddenly that person has killed the shy person that I was, till a month back.
I hope this new person does take over my entire personality.But I know he will one or the other.............

The Butterfly Effect - The Movie

2008-05-21T01:15:00.000-07:00

I love English Movies.From the tender age of 3 ,I used to watch them with my folks at home.since then I have seen more than a thousand movies.But nothing seems to compare what I saw recently.

The Butterfly Effect

The movie is great and simple based on the "Chaos Theory".Please watch this movie if you have not seen it before.Its worth a watch............

Exams aaaaaaah get away from me.........

2008-05-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

Man! why the hell there are Exams?

I am not a mugger , so its really difficult for me to by heart all theory which does not make sense.
I so hope that I do well this semester.All my friends are great muggers.So claim they mug theory logically!!!!!!!

Its Really Strange........

2008-05-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

Its really strange ,I always tend to hurt those people whom I love the most. Most of the time I do it unknowingly.
It really eats me up.

I really love my friends.I can't live a minute without them.Its strange how they know so much about me.They are my greatest strength.But why do I hurt them?

I hate Myself sometimes.....

2008-05-08T01:05:00.000-07:00

" I hate myself when
others dislike me"

" I hate myself when
I make mistakes"

" I hate myself when
I make bad decisions"

" I hate myself when
I am selfish "

" I hate Myself when
I don't care for someone else's feelings"

" I hate Myself when
I hurt the only people I care about, knowingly and unknowingly"

" I hate Myself when
I act as someone else"

" The rest of the times I REALLY LOVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Holi hi Hai............. Part2

2008-03-31T00:43:00.000-07:00

Then it was dancing till we drop.We all took BHAANG ,I don't remember how many drinks went into my belly.It was the best drink of my life.

Then I realized the power of Bhaang ,it made me feel as a superhero.Then I went to sleep.All my friends were vomiting continuously till I woke up.Poor Champs!!!!!!!!!!!11
They are still recovering from the effects till today.

Holi hi Hai'''''''''''''Part 1

2008-03-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

Holi this year was completely different . For the first time I decided to celebrate Holi with by neighbourhood friends.I have tried mybest notto reveal anyone's identity.
So here it goes:-

I woke up at 8.00 pm on saturday .I don't remember when I went to sleep. However I remember what I did in the morning and the day before.
On Friday, I joined the organising commitee.(Nobody in our locality likes to organise any events, except some young guns like me and two men in their 40's , I would call them Mr.P and Mr.S.)
We went fetching for dry wood late in the evening .We got lucky we found some bamboos and we used them wisely.Its damn diffcult to get wood on Holi day.
On Saturday we woke up early.P and S prepared Bhaang which they claimed to be Best.
Then the music started at 11.00 am .The first song was a remake of Kaanta Laga. But it was totally different from the original .It went like this :-
" Aage se daala , Tune Pheche Se daala, aare piya,(then there was a big pause)
(I was praying no one heard it,if they did ,they would surely won't come to play Holi.)
Raang Daala, Haaye Daala".(Thank God)."

Part two coming shortly.

Platform

2008-02-29T19:51:00.001-08:00

aquela flor
Originally uploaded by gabism

It seems so weird when you met someone, somewhere and you don't know that person actually but you feel that you have know him/her for eternity.,

As usual I had to wait for a local train this morning. The train was late as usual so I had to wait good ten minutes for the train, so I had ample of free time I guess. Then something happened ......

I saw a pretty girl on the next platform probably my age. She was so beautiful. I use the word beautiful because she was not what you called today...(HOT), she was just beautiful.
The next moment, she saw me.

Time stopped when our eyes met.
What was she thinking?
Hell what was I thinking, where am I?
The next moment the train arrived.Why ? .
Damn it trains are never late when you want them to be late!

Rock concert.............Iron Maiden in Mumbai.........

2008-02-02T06:48:00.000-08:00

I have never been to a rock concert before .I also skipped Beyounce and Shakira when they arrived here in Mumbai.(You probably think I am a fool, as my friend always gets free passes for all concerts in India).

In the pic above you can see one of the pre IRON MAIDEN performances.The girl on the extreme right is the daughter of one of the guitarists.

In the above video you can see the IRON MAIDEN skeleton. The videos were shot by a NOKIA cell by my friend so please be patient with the clarity of the videos.

" Hallowed be Thy Name " was the last song played.

Something strange happened last night .The drumsticks which were thrown after the performance flew straight and hit my friend's Face .That started something called Mosfet and my friend was right in the center of it.Poor champ Got so many punches in the gut.He then threw the drumsticks somewhere far.

Please Standby for more pictures.

Next Stop MEGADEATH : BANGALORE..........................

Picture perfect.........

2008-01-26T02:23:00.000-08:00

After we are dead , do we become angels?

College here I come.

2008-01-14T01:51:00.000-08:00

College is starting again the sixth sem to be exact. I am looking forward to it.I got selected as the event head of an event ,I have no idea of.........
I should remember that This is India and you cannot expect things like those shown in AMERICAN PIE movies to be valid here.I have so many friends,so many things to do.I hope this sem is going to be great.

Love or Trouble......

2007-12-03T00:38:00.001-08:00

" Love is friendship"

That's what Srk said in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai..........

Man am I in love or what?

She is one of my best friends.She knows me better than I think myself.I instantly fell for her the day I saw her. Not knowing who she was or from where she came from,it was love at first sight!!!!!.

But I am afraid to confess it to her(propose I mean).
There are two reasons why I am afraid:-

1. I don't wanna lose a friend....
2. She is of a different caste...( this I don't consider a hindrance, but she might,
She is a devout Muslim Girl...I am Christian...
It's like two poles of the earth.....)...

But I won't stop loving her, even if she says no...

Love or Trouble......

2007-12-03T00:38:00.000-08:00

Death is it Real?

2007-11-28T01:05:00.000-08:00

Everyone has to die ,some day or the other

That's one of my aunties used to say, until she died recently.

Is death real? If it is then why both you and me have so much attachment to ourlives.We are gonna die anyways, so why we love ourselves?

Exam Fever is on................

2007-10-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

Exams are crucial part of my life .Right from nursery I have been giving so many exams that I lost count.
Engineering exams are different.Only the muggers get the best marks.There is no room for talent.
I will be away from my blogs for atleast one and a half months.............

The Secret of Success............

2007-10-05T09:19:00.000-07:00

Here are some tips to success:

1.Time Management
Time & Tide wait for no man.

2.Take Control:
Don't let others dictate what's going to happen in your life.

3.Trust Yourself:

Love & trust Yourself..............

Railway Crossing- A Highway To Death......

2007-09-22T02:52:00.000-07:00

I am human.As a Human I can Make Mistakes,some of them pretty bad ones too.

Life has taught me , inorder to achieve something you have to sacrifice many things.
To get over others,disrespect their feelings, treat others as fools etc.But I continue
to be different.I cannot change Myself.I don't possess any of the above qualities ,but still sometimes I feel I should be selfish,Why I should care for others when I am in pain?

I love my friends.I even Love You , nomatter who You are.If Love & Friendship are
the only centres of your life, nobody can hurt you.

My First Own video on Youtube........

2007-09-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hi this is my first video on youtube .Hope you like it.I created it.

Now I wont want a brother like this...

2007-09-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

Govinda aala Re........

2007-09-04T08:17:00.001-07:00

In Mumbai , we are celebrating Gokul Ashtami.............

What is Gokul Ashtami?

Maha Vishnu took various avatars to protect the mortal world from the evildoers and sinners. One such incarnation was his birth as the child of King Vasudeva and Queen Devaki Devi. Gokul Ashtami is the birthday of Lord Krishna. It falls on the 8th day of the dark half of the month of 'Bhadrapada' (August-September) and is one of the greatest of all Hindu festivals. Lord Krishna was born at midnight.
A twenty-four hour fast is observed on this day, which is broken at midnight. The festival is called in different names as "Krishna Jayanti", "Janma Ashtami", "Krishnaashtami" , "Gokul Ashtami", and as "Sri Jayanti".

Well in this festival, people attempt to break the matka(the pot in the picture)
, some break the pot and others fall and break their bones.

Look I can Fly..............................

2007-08-30T03:41:00.000-07:00

Life is full of problems.different people face different problems.Some
problems are emotional,some physical & most of them are just so
stupid to be one.
But because of this problems I can enjoy happiness.This is so because
without this problems I would have been an alien to pain.Without pain I
would have missed experiencing joy forever........... Learn from your
pain, it's more meaningful that happiness sometimes...........

times square

2007-08-22T04:11:00.001-07:00

times square
Originally uploaded by maricm

A cool Picture From my friend Maricm ........

Man she is good.

Orkut the killer.......

2007-08-22T01:14:00.000-07:00

I never thought that people can misuse orkut in such a way.
A boy called Adnan Patrawala, belonging to a rich family was kidnapped and eventually kille by his abductors
possibly his so called friends in orkut.

As a result fanatics might use this as an excuse to ban orkut in Mumbai, which is Totally wrong.
I really feel sorry for Adnan.

Next Time I will choose my friends with caution...............

A report from the a News Channel:

Tejas Mehta
Tuesday, August 21, 2007 (Mumbai)
Mumbai is in shock after the kidnapping and murder of 16 year old Adnan Patrawala allegedly by young men who befriended him through a social networking website.

Three of the alleged killers are in custody and the Mumbai police is looking for two more suspects.

Police sources had first said Adnan was kidnapped and murdered by three friends Sujit Nair, Ayush Bhat and Khimesh Ambavat, who he met on the social networking site Orkut about six months ago.

However, others investigating the case now claim there is no Orkut connection and that Adnan became friends with the three at a gaming centre in the Mumbai suburb of Malad six months ago and the Orkut exchanges came later.

Though, the Orkut angle hasn't been ruled out. The search is still on for a fourth suspect who was chatting to Adnan on Orkut under the name of Angel, most likely a fake ID.

On Saturday evening when Adnan disappeared, he had received several messages from Angel suggesting they meet up. What the police are clear about is the sequence of events.

Brainchild behind kidnapping

Police say the brainchild behind the kidnapping was the oldest of the group, 28-year old Sujit Nair, a former BPO employee who had been out of a job for nearly a year.

Nair had planned to flee to Dubai on Monday after getting the ransom. But police claim that when the boys found out the news had been flashed across the media they got scared.

Also they heard rumours that the investigations into the kidnapping may be handed over to the CBI. So on Sunday night they gave Adnan an alcoholic drink heavily laced with sleeping pills and strangled him inside his car.

But the father of one of the accused 18-year old Ayush Bhat a college student says, his son has been framed. He says Ayush was home on Saturday when Adnan disappeared.

''My son is cooperating with the police. The police had come to our residence on Sunday with two people called Adil and Aafreen and since then my son has been cooperating. I don't know why Ayush has been booked in the case,'' said Arun Bhat, father of the accused.

The incident has once again put focus on the social networking sites and whether there is a need for greater safeguards on the Internet.

Life is Boring........

2007-08-21T05:08:00.001-07:00

xfantasy15_1024
Originally uploaded by wolverine047

My life is changing it has become more boring than usual.........

Hello World!......

2007-08-03T02:11:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Mobgames........

This site is dedicated in giving free JAVA GAMES to you .The good news is that it's all for free.

Whether you have nokia , motorola , alcatel,etc these JAVA games are designed for your Java enabled handset.

So sit back & get the latest games for free.

Note: The JAVA RUNTIME should be installed on your phone which is provided by your phone manufacturer.

##TITLE##

1969-12-31T16:00:00.003-08:00

##CONTENT##

##TITLE##

1969-12-31T16:00:00.000-08:00

##CONTENT##